Fall 2013: HYFT Style

Oh, look! Another edition of HYFT!

Here's a quick heads-up on what to look for this fall.

In the southeast US, where it's still unseasonably warm this time of year, the colors of people's clothes are early indicators that fall is on its way. The leaves won't change for a while still, but the usual fall suspects are currently appearing on runways and sidewalks everywhere: cognac, oxblood, aubergine, navy, emerald, ecru, nude, and mustard are (thankfully) replacing the blinding neons of summer. Add to these colors the fall metallics -- grey, silver, gold, and rose gold -- which aren't going anywhere anytime soon. And as usual, fall patterns, such as tweed, plaid, and houndstooth, are popping up everywhere from Forever 21 to the luxury lines. But let's move on to the pictures, shall we?

As all of you know by now, the 90s are back in full effect. But for some reason, the ugliest parts of the 90s are popping up in couture more than the good parts (were there good parts?). With that in mind, I've compiled a list of Fall 2013's Things That Suck, and Things That Don't.

Things That Suck Right Now:

1. Capes:
Unless you are an actual vampire or superhero, please just don't wear a cape. Please?



2. Horrible fur anything:
While I don't mind fake fur, animal cruelty ain't cute. Plus, aren't the bright shades a little Muppety?



3. Studs:
While I'm a fan of handsome men, that's not what I'm getting at here. I know lots of women love a pair of studded boots, but I firmly feel that studs should remain with the two groups who've held them firmly in their grasp since the beginning of time: bikers and BDSM enthusiasts.



4. What I'm referring to as "alien chic":
Cutouts, mesh, and shimmer: OH MY WORD. Totally unwearable, unless you have a natural bobblehead and actually LIKE wearing ten pounds of double-sided tape.



5. Baby doll dresses:
Courtney Love made these huge in the 90s, and I'm hoping they go by the wayside ASAP. No female over the age of 4 should wear any item of clothing with the words "baby doll" in its description.



6. 90s applique (and, while we're at it, "everyday" taffeta):
A picture's worth a thousand words.



7. Crop tops:
Ahem.



8. Overalls:
OMG, stop with the overalls.



9. Balloon trousers:
The title says it all. Do you want to look like a plaid balloon???



10. I don't even.... I can't.




_____________________________________________________________________

Things That Don't Suck Right Now:

1. Dior.
As always.



2. Tory Burch:
I always feel that fashion is at its best when it is both attractive (in the magnetic sense) and creates a sense that the wearer could and would feel interesting/beautiful/powerful while wearing it. In other words, good fashion has to make you feel something, and you have to visualize what that something will be before you ever put it on. TB clothes, shoes, and accessories do just that, and are totally wearable.



3. Boots:
I'm a huge fan of boots all year long, and there are a lot of very...er...interesting boots in the fall lines. There's lots of meh stuff in the Hedi Slimane/Saint Laurent line: it's been called uninspired and draws mainly from the glory days of grunge for its inspiration. But let's be honest, grunge was pretty fugly in general. Wasn't that kind of the point? High fashion + grunge is relative madness. Anyway, while I've never liked Doc Martens, not even in the 90s, I do like what HS did with them here. Would they look good with any outfit, ever? I don't know, but I am strangely drawn to them. And however pretentious the idea of repurposing an intentionally sloppy decade for high fashion may be, I know the hipsters (or, as I like to call them, le faux pauvre) will eat it up.





4. Chanel (Fall/Winter 2013/14):
Beautiful knits, patterns, and classic lines. Classic Chanel elegance.

Not to mention Chanel's Paris-Édimbourg 2013 Métiers D'Art line... It is so beautiful, I could literally die. If you want to torture yourself with beauty, visit the whole line here.

I'll end on that lovely note. 'Til next time: dress and love well. xoxo, HYFT

Things That Have to Go in 2013

1. Peplum - Looks OK on a hanger/toothpick-thin model who needs to create the illusion of curves; makes normal-shaped people look like weirdos.

2. Neon - It didn't look good on you last year, and it won't in 2013, either.

Side note: Dear Katy Perry, you are not a Barbie doll. The end.

3. Boyfriend jeans - See #1. Even Jennifer Aniston looks stupid in them.

4. Trying to look like Zooey Deschanel - Just don't. She's a caricature of herself at this point.

5. What I refer to as the "overpattern." TOO. MUCH. PATTERN.

More to come. For now, marinate on these "to don'ts." Here's to a well-dressed 2013!

Ghazal for Dior: Fall 2010

Hothouse bouquet walking, Jacaranda lips—are these our sisters?
Tendrils of hair locked in pre-bloom caress the napes of these, our sisters.

Legs and arms become stalks and stems—we abuse metaphor, but ruffled
frames and wrought iron ribbons little disguise the bones of our sisters.

Once called goddess of mercy, men came to gaunt whores in brothels,
now they walk Avenue Montaigne, these flower-selling scarlets, our sisters.

Flaming aqua organza shaped into bells, tulle explodes from tiny waists,
faces walled with green plastic shimmer, our asymmetry hidden from our sisters.

Divided, we watch autumn-belying pastel sheathes evoke withered sprays,
store-bought carnations when we want Delores, orchids from these, our sisters.

We cannot see the field beyond cut flowers, the blue meadow of our dreams,
only dropped petals from last season decompose on the hips of our sisters.

These blossoms for the rich, red fever, bloodlust for ire posies reveal
our autistic savant: we cannot excuse such beauty, even from our sisters.

Mixology

So I'm really excited that I finally have the courage to attempt something with which I've always had a love/hate relationship: mixing patterns. You heard me. Throw all your preconceptions out the window. Forget what Mama told you about black not going with brown, patterns clashing, and white after Labor Day. Take a breath, and let's start over.

You can mix patterns. I repeated this mantra to myself regarding my late summer/early fall fashion choices, and you know what? I was actually right. And if I can do it... seriously, anyone can.

Many patterns are loud on their own, but when you mix them with another bold pattern, you often get unexpectedly stunning results. My favorite combination so far has been a zebra-printed dress in green, tan, gold, and brown with leopard print shoes in black, gold, and maroon. When I put it on I thought, "Oh, hell no." But a look in the mirror led to a firm choice. Even I can do this. So I did. And I haven't looked back. Neither should you.

Here is some proof from the runways that I'm not saying this to make you put together an embarrassing outfit and walk out of the house looking like a self-dressed 6-year-old. Take your courage, however, from these 6-year-olds. We can wear what we want. And we can actually look pretty rad doing it!

Until next time.

-A







And some of my personal favorites from the Rodarte Spring 2011 RTW collection:




All images Copyright Elle.

Without further ado . . .

If you need any more evidence that trashy couture is back to stay, I direct you to these photos of Elle MacPherson for the fall edition of Love:



and




As you already know, I say bring it. I read an article today on Jezebel about the backlash against foodies (you can read the article here. Although as with any other movement, the backlash against foodies was inevitable, I think we could compare the backlash against the sophisticated sheath dress to the backlash against sliver-thin duck slices in morel sauce. Fall 2010 runways exhibited lingerie as outerwear, cut-out clothing, and velvet and sheer and leather silhouettes.








Designers such as Jean Paul Gaultier seem to have fully embraced this aesthetic, mixing bright colors with slouchy sweats and infusing global design with a laced-up hooker-chic sensibility. Some have said that hipster-fashion is using Elaine Benes as a muse; I say hipsterism is dead--the next movement will either embrace neo-preppydom à la Birnbach's update of The Preppy Handbook or Christina Applegate's flipped-middle-finger fashion in Married with Children.

Long may trashy couture rule the runway!

-K

L'étudiant

Whether you're taking your kids to school, heading back to college, or ambling down other hallways, know this: the student look is IN. This fall, pull out your flash (credit) cards and study up on pieces that deliver a timeless, studious look at a fraction of the cost of tuition.

Without further ado, here is your cheat sheet for achieving The Student Look (no tutor required):

DO:
Buy a blazer.
Find a great boyfriend shirt.
Get one versatile (think gray) pair of trousers that works for your build and style.
Wear oxfords, booties, loafers, or mary janes.
Embrace the jumper/playsuit.
Find at least one high-waisted piece that you love, and pair with tights or knee socks.
Wear your hair in a straight, blunt cut or a classy updo.
Keep the makeup to a minimum, except for the eyes.
Stock up on cardigans (Fairisle is THE print this fall).
Acquire at least one cute, skirted coat.
Wear nerd glasses.
Find a great shoulder bag.


DO NOT:
Wear pleats unless they look good on you.
Untuck your shirt.
Wear tights as pants.
Overdo the jewelry.
Masquerade in stilettos.(These head into sexy librarian territory.)
Wear unflattering pieces just because they are trendy.
Wear neon or acid wash. ( Enough already, people. There was only one Lisa Turtle.)
Run in the halls.



-A

Proenza Schouler Double-Breasted Wool Blazer



Marc by Marc Jacobs Buzzy Fairisle Cardigan



Burberry Quilted Leather Bucket


Thakoon Ruffled Suede Ankle Boots

Chloé Paraty Medium Tote


House of Harlow 1960 Scrunchie Patent Lace-Up Loafers



Fendi Mini Leather Shoulder Bag


Prada Belted Blazer


Rag & Bone Button-Tab Shirt Dress


Elizabeth and James Shirred-Sleeve Blazer


Miu Miu Mary Jane Ballet Flats

Stripper Wear, Exit Stage Left

And as quickly as it came in, out goes Lucite. Or so I believe.

The clear acrylic, which debuted in the 20s and has long been considered stripper fare, enjoyed a brief renaissance on the runway for Spring 2010. Am I the only one who's still loving Lucite for fall? Apparently not.

Check out these links:

This woman boldly calls for the return of Lucite for fall and winter.

Elizabeth Wellington, on the other hand, seems more tentative about her hopes for Lucite.

In the mid-to-early 90s, I lusted after chunky-heeled Lucite pumps, but as a preteen, my parents considered me far too young to wear heels. I thought of Cinderella every time I saw my sister or mother don a pair, so mournfully, I would pull on my magenta suede saddle shoes and dream about wearing huge platform heels someday. I did catch the end of the platform/clog phase in high school, but by the early 2000s, Lucite was out, but stripper fashion was in.

The popular girls pranced around wearing silk tops with racer-back spaghetti straps and denim mini-skirts. I wore Abercrombie and Fitch wind pants with tiny tank tops and thought I was cooooooool.

It seems that for the moment, the "polished" girl is back. Sheath dresses abound, and Mad Men wannabes litter the fashion killing grounds. I found this change welcome a few seasons back, so why am I hoping for something a little dirtier this season? Am I jumping the gun, or is it time for trashy to make a triumphant return? Give me slashed up, tattered, too short, brazen, loud.

Fine, fashion, go all mature and demure for another season. I'll be busy bringing skanky back.

*slips on a pair of Lucite heels with matching bracelet and lets the wind hit her unkempt hair*

-K

P.S. OMG WANT